Nick Stagg Therapy

Counselling in Birmingham city centre & beyond…

Placebo

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I’m talking about the effect, not the band.

It’s the effect by which we are able to often control the way feel using thought alone.

There’s a fair amount of evidence that humans can remedy ailments though what is essentially positive thought.

If you think you’re getting better, you probably will. If you think the course of action you’re taking or pill you’re ingesting will help, it probably will. (Unfortunately the reverse is also true).

Just not in the way you might think.

Whilst a pill, such as a pain killer, will have some pharmacological effect, it’s more that you’re now not worrying about the pain & that’s adding to your sense of feeling better.

This is the same for such drugs as anti-depressants. They don’t “cure”. At best they alter the way you feel, which might feel like relief. Yet doesn’t alter what’s causing the discontent in your life.

This is why both therapy & general wellbeing tips have the power to assist you too.

It’s about helping you feel in control of your life. This is its own placebo.

If you know that you’re taking steps to help yourself, then you’ll feel better about your life.

The beauty of therapy & wellbeing ideas is that they don’t have additional negative effects/side effect.

Therefore, you can make real improvement, over a timescale that works for you without any drawbacks.

A simple life

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Do you feel your life is overly full?

Too many things to keep sorting out?

We’re so often encouraged by many sources to increase the complexity of our lives.

The premise is usually that the more you do & have, the better your life will feel.

This, however, is seldom true.

More stuff means more to look after.

More to do means more pull on your time.

Consider quality over quantity.

Take time to realise what brings real value to your life.

I suspect it’ll be time spent doing things you love, sometimes with people you love.

In times of stress notice your natural desire to simplify.

Work that feeling into your everyday life & the times you feel stressed will decrease.

The needs we actually need to meet to feel content are minimal.

You can meet them yourself mostly, with a little input from others.

Eat well, be active, feel purposeful.

Take a look at Instagram…

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As you might notice, my blog posts are little less frequent than they once were.

This is because I’m now putting my thoughts & efforts into my partner Instagram account –

NSTWellbeingCoach

If you’d like to see new, inspiring & interesting content on wellbeing take a look. There’s a link on the bottom of my home page, or just search for me on Instagram.

I look forward to connecting there.

Nick

Wellbeing & self-care

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Good wellbeing comes from good self-care.

Good self-care needn’t be difficult, the principles are straight forward, as are the things you need to do in implementing it.

People often struggle to put self-care into practice believing it makes them “selfish” or self-centred. However, these are just negative perspectives on what is actually an essential part of being human.

We all need to take care of ourselves, because if we’re a mess how are we going to look after ourselves, let alone look after others effectively?

You can take care of you & your needs whilst also being mindful of others too. The concept of equal first, allows you to take care of all that’s important in your life.

By creating a blend of things in your life, a large part that will form your self-care, you enable yourself to create the best wellbeing you can. When you’re in a good place, you can empower & enable others to get to a better place.

You need to ensure your body & mind are taken care of. This means eating well, sleeping well & building movement into your day. You need to listen to what your emotional needs are & start to put things in place to meet them.

The NSTWellbeingCoach app has a wealth of ideas, tips & techniques to help you do this. Take a look & see how you can improve your wellbeing & self-care.

What do you want?

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Simple question, not so simple answer!

The concept of our wants is pretty all encompassing.

How do we figure out what we’d like in the first place?

Then how do we go about meeting those desires?

Ultimately you need to spend some time thinking about what you need in place to feel content with your life.

There will be a vast range of things to consider, from the job you do, the people you spend your time with, to how you work on your physical wellbeing.

You’ll need to learn to “curate” the life you lead. By this I mean, make considered choices on how you lead your life.

A good rule of thumb is to see how you feel about what you’re doing. If it feels good, keep doing it, if it doesn’t, then consider stopping or changing what you’re doing.

Be thoughtful too, as sometimes our feelings need a little help from our thoughts in order to nudge us in the  right direction for our overall wellbeing.

Whatever you decide you’d like to do, you’re going to need to invest in it. This is where the want comes in. If you want something, you’re more likely to put the effort in to achieve it.

If you don’t really want it, you probably won’t bother.

Work out what you’d like as you go, learn to want it.

Invest your time & effort to get it…

New year, new you?

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Lots of people love the idea of starting afresh when the new year comes.

To build a whole range of new “good” habits & attempt to banish the “bad” old ones.

Then as the year wears on, they mostly, if not entirely fall by the wayside.

This is generally because people are over ambitious. Either in their goals &/or timescales for change.

We can all continually grow, learn & develop. You don’t need to wait for the new year.

By gently altering your lifestyle to enable you to enhance your wellbeing throughout life, you can achieve your aims as you go.

When you feel there’s something you’d like to differently, then experiment about how to do this. Find ways to slowly build it into your life, so that it has a minimal impact.

Slow & steady generally wins out over the long term, as you can maintain it. Hare off trying to make large & quick change, you’re likely to find it unsustainable.

Make sure you’re choosing to make change you want to. This will allow you to actually feel motivated to achieve it.

If you don’t really want to do it, then why are you contemplating it?

Ultimately, we only do the things we want to.

It’s your life, so make sure you’re getting the most from it.

You can do pretty much whatever you’d like, it just might take some time & ingenuity.

Enjoy the challenge…

What’s the cost?

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Bills are climbing at an alarming rate. The cost of living is becoming harder to meet.

Aside from the practical & pragmatic costs, what are the costs to people’s wellbeing?

How does it feel to face the idea that you might be able to stay warm this winter yet not be able to afford to meet friends & family as a result?

As we all look to find ways to live as comfortably as we used to, we’ll need to consider how we keep our wellbeing as high as possible.

Look at how you create your self-care.

The good news is that there are many cost-effective ways to keep your spirits up. Even during the colder, darker months.

Make time to walk & talk. Wrap up, then go for a walk either on your own as a spot of mindfulness or with others to get some much needed social interaction.

Rather than spend time & money in pubs, cafes & restaurants, have people around to yours & vice versa. Although spare a thought for those in the leisure industries & still go out if you can.

You might think Netflix, Sky etc are essential. However, they’re not really. There are many ways to entertain yourself that cost a lot less.

Of course, if these things really add to your contentment, then look at other places to manage your costs.

Just don’t allow the overall cost to be your mental health.

Endeavour

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This is what it takes to get where you want to be.

From a business venture to an hour a day to yourself.

Whatever you’d like in life takes your investment of time & effort.

This is to be celebrated as it will add layers of purpose to your life.

The more purposeful you feel, the greater your sense of contentment.

The trick is to find a blend, where you get to strive & achieve, whilst also having time to rest & relax.

Whatever you endeavour to do, ensure you are enjoying the process too.

If you are just aiming at the end goal for “happiness” you’re likely to be disappointed.

You’re best to work & be involved in things that feel good at the time. This might not be the obvious reward in the moment, yet you’ll feel a sense of reward at each stage you accomplish things.

Think of working out & getting fit. You might enjoy it in the moment, if not you’re likely to enjoy the feelings after the work out. Then as you see & feel the progress you make over time, that also adds reward. You don’t need an “end” to get the reward, it’s available throughout the process.

This simple example applies to almost anything you want to endeavour towards.

Follow this simple model & you’ll find you’re able to achieve more.

Are you waiting for life to happen?

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This seems to be a fairly common theme for a lot of people.

That they’re hoping something, often not created by them, will happen to make their life feel better.

They have an idea that there will be a lucky break at some point.

The truth is, even if opportunities do arise you need to be ready to take them.

To be interested & curious to see where things can lead.

You may discover that something you’ve followed up hasn’t led anywhere in particular. That’s fine, as even just doing something for yourself will feel better than doing nothing.

If you can, do things today.

A lot of people will start it tomorrow, whatever it is. Then of course, there’s always another tomorrow.

The sooner you take action to at least research the thing your interested in, the sooner you might be able to actually do it.

This is how you’ll make your life feel meaningful & purposeful. Get momentum going.

To feel you’re filling it with good, interesting stuff. Not waiting for others to suggest/do it for you.

This is how to feel empowered. To know you’re capable & competent of meeting your needs.

Choices

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One of the cornerstones of contentment is to realise you get to make choices all day long.

When you own your choices, you will feel in control of your life.

When you feel in control of your life, you will feel a sense of wellbeing.

From the moment you wake to the moment you sleep, you have the opportunity to make almost countless choices.

From what you have (or not) for breakfast, what you wear & what you’ll do with your day.

Raise your awareness to all the choices you might not even be aware of.

You might think you “have” to go to work today. However, you could actually decide to take some last minute holiday & go somewhere else.

You might decide that your current job really doesn’t fit. You have the option to do something about it. You can start to look elsewhere. You can save some money to see you through for a few months if you decide to leave without another role in place.

You can choose to practically do anything.

You’ll need to work at implementing your desires & choices, yet if you want to, you’ll find the way to do it.

If you get this idea clear in your mind & practice taking action, your life will feel full & content.