Nick Stagg Therapy

Counselling in Birmingham city centre & beyond…

Endeavour

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This is what it takes to get where you want to be.

From a business venture to an hour a day to yourself.

Whatever you’d like in life takes your investment of time & effort.

This is to be celebrated as it will add layers of purpose to your life.

The more purposeful you feel, the greater your sense of contentment.

The trick is to find a blend, where you get to strive & achieve, whilst also having time to rest & relax.

Whatever you endeavour to do, ensure you are enjoying the process too.

If you are just aiming at the end goal for “happiness” you’re likely to be disappointed.

You’re best to work & be involved in things that feel good at the time. This might not be the obvious reward in the moment, yet you’ll feel a sense of reward at each stage you accomplish things.

Think of working out & getting fit. You might enjoy it in the moment, if not you’re likely to enjoy the feelings after the work out. Then as you see & feel the progress you make over time, that also adds reward. You don’t need an “end” to get the reward, it’s available throughout the process.

This simple example applies to almost anything you want to endeavour towards.

Follow this simple model & you’ll find you’re able to achieve more.

Raising your game.

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Often it seems people want to do the minimum they need to.

To see if they can bring others down to their level of satisfaction.

Rather than look for ways to improve their wellbeing through personal investment, they’d rather others joined them in the space where they feel “comfortable”.

In itself this isn’t bad, as long as it’s your choice to meet them there.

However, if you’d rather aspire to do more, in any setting, consider how you collaborate with people to raise their & your game.

This may include coaching them into seeing it’s possible that they can do more. That they have capabilities they haven’t considered.

Role model what’s possible, without become frustrated. It can take time to help someone shift their own view of themselves.

If someone genuinely feels that they’re at the level they like & you wish to be doing more, then you’ll need to find ways to make that so.

Ultimately I’m encouraging everyone to raise above the “lowest common denominator”.

To push to make the most of the opportunities that present & live all aspects of life to their fullest.

Collaboration

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This is a key concept to the smooth running of life.

It is applicable in any area of life. Partnership, friendship, family and work life.

It’s a concept that moves away from a winner and a loser, to the idea that at least two people get something that works and feels good.

It’s beyond compromise, which still feels like a little bit of loss for both parties.

Collaboration suggests investment in shared goals. Working together to achieve something. It also brings to mind that there will be mutual support in whatever is being done.

All humans like to feel in control of our world. When we don’t, conflict often arises. We feel the need to assert ourselves and our will over others, to regain our sense of control.

By collaborating you side-step this trap. All those involved get to feel a sense of control in their worlds.

That your needs are being met as well as those you’re working with.

Humans are ingenious and we can come up with a multitude of solutions to hard problems. We do it best when we work together.

You will find your contentment increases when you reduce conflict and increase your sense of control.

When you enable others to feel in control of their life too, by working together, you’re both onto something great.