Nick Stagg Therapy

Counselling in Birmingham city centre & beyond…

Belief

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A small word, many connotations.

I’m taking it here in it’s broadest sense. To believe in anything.

Belief can therefore enhance or restrict your life.

The main reason for this is that once we hold a belief we look for evidence to back it up.

If you believe you can achieve a desired goal, then you’ll find examples to show you’re doing just that. You’ll use this belief to push you forward and potentially realise what you’re after.

If your belief is that you’re not able to do something, then you’ll find evidence to confirm that view. Thus reducing your likelihood of achieving things you’d like in your life.

This applies to literally anything in your life.

Career aspirations, perfecting a hobby, finding a partner…the list is endless.

What’s critical is that you become aware of your beliefs.

That you learn to shape them and work with them.

Be open to new ideas and the full range of evidence in front of you.

Ensure you don’t underestimate yourself, learn what you’re capable of. Increase your self-belief & knowledge.

Mix in a little humility and the ability to acknowledge real world factors and you’ll find most things are possible.

Normal

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It’s a fascinating word. It has many different connotations.

In this instance I want to use it to refer to our expectations of life.

With restrictions starting to be lifted in the UK, there’s an apparent shift towards returning to “normal”.

For a lot of people this brings mixed emotions. From those that have already booked multiple trips abroad to those that fear a loss of their new quiet way of life.

The beauty of the idea of normal, is it’s totally individual. Sure, there’s the “usual” way we think society and other people do things, but these are all just perceptions.

As the restrictions lift you can decide how you’d like your life to be. You will be presented with a variety of choices as time goes on, you can discern what you chose to do.

If you’d like more time at home, then keep that in your balance. You don’t need to go back to only having 1 weekend in 12 to yourself.

There seems to be a new set of choices around working. So utilise that. Find the mix of home and office working that suits you.

Allow yourself to make changes as you go, what feels like a good normal now, can feel different in 6 months. Adapt, ensure what you’re doing is your normal. As if you’ve been considered in what you chose to do, your normal will suit you perfectly.

Now

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I’m encouraging you to live life in the present. Because it’s the one moment when you can actually feel what’s happening. It’s the time when you can actually influence what’s happening to you and your life.

When you take time to consider the past or the future, you’re working on cognitive guess work. Our past memories are unreliable, we alter them all the time. Each time you recall an event you edit it slightly.

When you think of the future, you can’t possibly know how it’ll actually go. We can estimate, guess and predict. But as we all know, this is far from precise. The best we can do is use the present and our current knowledge to predict what could happen.

In thinking about the past or future, you can’t actually feel anything. That only happens in the here and now. Often our fear of the future is based on how we THINK we might feel, not how we will actually feel.

They way to moderate and ensure you feel as good as possible in your life is to act in the present.

Therefore you need to concentrate on make the present feel as good as it can minute by minute. This is where it’s worth concentrating your efforts. It’s where you’ll feel and experience the efforts you make, the plans you put into place and the way you conduct yourself.

Learn to live now, it’ll ensure you make the most of your life.