Here’s post 3 of 3, I told you I was in a creative splurge! Sorry if this post sounds a little “male” orientated. It sort of is, but it might be of interest to everyone to get an insight.
I suspect this post will be short and to the point, it is also a little extension of a previous post “Hello Boys”. However, I wanted to write it, as again this is a concept I’m finding coming into my consulting room.
The ultimate Alpha Male is a term I’m using to cover the client I get to work with who wants to be the best at everything they do, but is frustrated when it seems that isn’t happening. Clients may well be excelling in various areas, but these areas are over-looked and focus is placed on perceived deficits in their functioning.
Trying to keep this as high-level as possible, whilst also being nuanced enough to be interesting, I’ll try to expand what I mean. I am working with men who are often achieving, especially in their professional field, but are still feeling frustrated that life doesn’t feel as fulfilled as it might. This too touches on previous blog posts “Uh-Oh” and “Status anxiety”. When the material is worked through and narratives unravelled it turns out, that like all other humans, these men aren’t good at everything. Either their romantic relationship isn’t perfect, or there’s friction with friends and family. Perhaps despite being very good at what they do it’s not that fulling, thus a feeling of emptiness. All the “stuff” they have doesn’t equate to a feeling of mastering it all.
The simple key to this issue, is the gradual acceptance that we can’t be great (or good) at everything. That it’s perfectly acceptable to be as good as someone else, that competition doesn’t have to reign supreme. That learning to admire others and learn from them increases our knowledge and skill base. This if often an uncomfortable process to begin with, but if you/the client, can stick with it the rewards are well worth the effort. The world becomes much richer and less stressful. It turns out we can all be part of humanity and not have to compete to be the best. That we can share our skills and knowledge so we all feel fulfilled and admired by others, and vice versa.
As I suggested, short and hopefully to the point. As with all my posts please feel free to get in touch to discuss more as you wish…