Well, it’s a wet and typical British “summer” day, and I’ve literally just finished another fascinating book, “Zen and the art of consciousness” by Susan Blackmore. I totally recommend the book as one to read, just for the sake of it. Beyond that though, it got me to think about a whole lot of additional questions, along with the one’s central to the book.

I thought I’d share a few of them, to see what others thought. Also writing it out helps me process my thoughts. So to kick off there is the central premise that there is no such thing as the common perception of consciousness. That all the neuroscientists trying to find the “site” in the brain where it emerges are miss-guided and are not going to find where the brain generates consciousness. To be fair it’s a pretty good point.

I am fascinated by consciousness and how it arises, but I’m also well aware that our minds and bodies are “just” cells, nothing more and nothing less. If this is the case, which it would appear to be, then unless there is some “magic” in the system, consciousness must be a clever evolutionary adaption. This also knocks on the door of the age old question of whether there is “free will”. Do we consciously guide our actions, or does essentially our body just do it? It might appear that on the face of it, we’re choosing what to do all the time. If you really start to think about it though, and observe what really happens you’ll start to notice that lots of things you do “just happen”. That there is no obvious conscious thought, just a pre-destined causal chain of events.

As simple as this, I’m drinking some orange juice right now, did I “chose” to drink it, was it my free will, pure and simple? Or is it a causal chain? I was thirsty, I wanted a drink, I’ve already drank lots of tea today, I don’t want too much more caffeine, so coffee is out. I don’t really like sweet drinks, so no to squash and water seems a touch boring right now. So I know I bought some orange juice yesterday and it’s in the fridge. So really, my “choice” could be seen as a narrowing of options towards and inevitable conclusion. Is this scary? Or just reality? I’m an organic entity operating in a physical world, there’s only so much I can really do, only so much influence I can have on my actions.

The more you take the time to think about the things you do, the more you’ll be able to see there is a huge amount of inevitability to what we do. If we accept this, what does it mean? Well this is clearly an issue way too vast to cover on my blog, but I’ll chuck in a few ideas.

I believe it means that we can start to really go with what we feel like doing, to “listen” to our bodies (this is inclusive of our brains/minds). Stop thinking what should you be doing, and start to feel what you’d like to be doing, what do you need to do? What do you want to do? Be guided by circumstance. I wanted to play tennis today, but sadly the rain put an end to that, as I didn’t fancy getting drenched whilst I played. Therefore it gave me time to finish the book I was reading and jump on my notebook to write this. Even this blog has a level of inevitability, I haven’t written one for a while, and I want to write at least once a month, plus I was moved by the book.

What does this all mean from a therapeutic point of view? I’m not sure yet, all I know is that I practice from what I believe. So the more I think and feel about this fascinating topic the more my mind is opened and the more I want to assist others to do the same. To allow everyone to experience the world as they want to, to avoid constraint, which includes from their own “over” thinking. To be and accept we’re just organic entities acting in a set physical world. This might help overcome a great deal of the anxieties out there. To help establish what it is that clients want and need, to help come to an understanding, if it’s helpful that there might not be a consistent self. That we all change over time, that every time we become aware of something, our consciousness is essentially reset, that we experience a fairly random and eclectic series of events and perceptions at any given time. That there probably isn’t such a thing as consistent consciousness, because we’ll admit to times when we thought we were “conscious” and paying attention, but we weren’t really. Sometimes we totally manage to empty our mind of thoughts and totally just be. What some might say is “flow”, this to me seems to be a pretty good place to look for contentment.

I will now delve into a new book, and carry on working with my wonderful clients with a slightly different view of things and see where it takes me. Life is totally fascinating and being as aware as we can of it is even more fascinating. Enjoy grappling with these ideas, try Susan Blackmore’s book, also have a look at Daniel Dennett too, he’s got some fascinating if fairly “chunky” ideas to get to grips with.

The short answer to this is an emphatic, YES.

However, being honest, upfront and open can be dangerous. Not just for you, but for those around you. I don’t mean in the physical sense, although I can imagine it could be. But I mean dangerous for relationships and interactions. As a species we seem to cherish being kept in the dark, we appear to want the truth and we often say this is the case. However, when someone is open and honest people can often become uncomfortable.

Is there an antidote for this? Can you be honest and open without causing discomfort, for you and others? Probably not. What will happen though, is that you’ll quickly come to learn who is really interested in what you have to say. You might end up losing some existing relationships, and this may mean overall you have less friendships/ relationships. What you will have though, are meaningful, lasting and deep relationships. Ones that are built from openness and honesty. That all those in that relationship have the option to be and say what they need to.

It is amazingly refreshing to live like this. To not hold back, to not be guarded and only say what we think is “appropriate” or “palatable”. Even as a therapist it’s taken me some time to really embrace this way of being. It can feel really risky at times, will I offend? Will I embarrass? Will I be thought less of?

If we’re not open and honest though, what are we? are we liars? are we disingenuous? I am deliberately using strong and emotive language. Most of us think we’re pretty open, pretty fair and on occasion we spare someone’s feelings or try to avoid “conflict”. But if we do that, we end up carrying the pent up thoughts and feelings that we can’t express. This is clearly not a good way to be. For these unsaid things are what bring dissatisfaction, as we don’t get to lead the life we want to.

Try to imagine a life without regret, without unsaid thoughts and feelings. I can say from experience it’s a really good place to be. Everyone knows where they stand, there are no surprises and life can be lead in a way that works for all concerned. Because openess and honesty are the cornerstone of debate, discussion and discourse. If you can’t be open with those in your life, ask yourself why not. Then decide if you can start to share what you really think and if not, perhaps consider changing those in your life, so that you can always be true to yourself, and those around you can be true to themselves.

This is far from a recipe for disaster, but it is certain to lead to some feelings of unease, some heated or perhaps quiet discussion, but above all much deeper and lasting connections with people. Give it a go, see how it feels…surprise yourself and those around you.

Two posts in one month, time to make up for previous gaps!

I have just finished reading a potentially mind altering book, The Meme Machine by Susan Blackmore. The majority of the content is around the concept that ideas, stories and artefacts propagate themselves using human brains, rather like human genes propagate themselves in the human body as a whole. This in itself is an interesting concept and goes someway to giving a good explanation for how the human population has ended up living it’s life.

However for me the most amazing part of the book were the last few chapters. Here Blackmore questions the validity of the idea of Free will and also the concept of the self. Her conclusion is that both are illusions, that memes (our human need for an explanation) have created the idea of a self. She postulates that we are in fact driven to act by context, whim, feeling and our body’s innate sense of need fulfilment. That it is possible to start to realise that we act without conscious effort and that in order to be most in tune with ourselves we need to shed our idea of being self conscious. That our bodies and minds are self actualising and to allow it to just get on with it, rather than complicating maters be imposing a “false” self.

I’m still processing this information, but it did hit a resonance with me, and I wish to explore it further. I suspect I will return to comment on this at a later date with a fuller personal understanding. I urge you to find this book and at least read the final few chapters if not the whole book. If you allow yourself, her words have the power to really shake up what it is to be human. I think and feel it’s a risk worth taking and I will endeavour to follow some of her thoughts and ideas up.

Essentially there is a real message of live in the moment, this exact moment. That what your body feels like doing, in the context it’s in, do it. The background to why this isn’t a recipe for bad behaviour is that through memes (previous knowledge/ideas/cultural norms etc) we are already “programmed” to act in a way that suits us and society.

The reason this resonates for me, is that in my own life and my therapeutic practice I extol the virtue of doing what feels right at the time. To ensure we all make time for us and to allow ourselves to enjoy our lives, doing whatever it is that we feel like doing in that instant. I personally feel I need to spend more time working through what it means to accept there isn’t a self or free will. Do I totally agree with Blackmore, right now, as I type this I’m not sure. I’m certainly willing to explore it further. Interesting in itself is what do I mean by “I” and “me” as I type this? Am I referring to my”self” or merely the collection of cells that makes the physical me? What is the psychological me? Where do “I” exist within my physical body?

I appreciate a great many people don’t have the time or inclination to work this through, but those that do, stop and think a while. Get into the moment, see how it feels. I have a feeling to travel down this path might add more to our lives, to free us all of some of the negative sides of having a “self” to preserve and protect. To just be, could be very refreshing, inspiring and free.

I haven’t posted for a month or so as I appear to have been wrapped up in what can sometimes be my hectic schedule. Fortunately for me, the hustle and bustle has died down and I find myself with more time. This handily leads me to another area for thought…

To be free, to explore and to experiment.

So often those that I meet and also those I work with are very constrained in their lives. The often feel they have little time for themselves, and when they do find they have spare time it is too precious to “waste” on frivolous activities. Better to do something “proper” and socially sanctioned than do what they might actually fancy.

This brings us to you and I. What do we do with our time? Can we spend it in a more rewarding way? What does rewarding mean and feel like? For me a walk in the great British countryside might be a real joy, for someone else a nightmare. Think of all the mud and muck! What’s key though, is that we do actually do what we feel like. That we don’t allow ourselves to be constrained by others. There are so many things we could do, either on our own or with others that you can pretty much exercise any whim you have.

The crux maybe however to be able to take a risk. Often it can be scary trying something new, what if we’re no good. Or worse, we make a fool of ourselves?

Good news is, it turns out that after school, no one really cares what you do! That if you choke halfway up an indoor climbing wall and have to come down, no one will notice, let alone criticise. If you sketch a scene and it looks nothing like it, then you don’t have to show anyone. But imagine (in all likelihood) that you give it a go and you’re ok at it. Suddenly life feels pretty good. You can now say that you climb, walk, paint, produce music, cook, Zumba or pretty much anything else you care to mention or feel like doing.

By all means think about it, even be concerned about cost, but to be fair most things offer tasters or can be done pretty inexpensively or even for free. But don’t think for too long, or that hour or so you had starts to shrink and then you really won’t have time to give it a go.

I’m off to practice my darts throw in the sun, I wonder what you’ll get up to?

Welcome to 2016, last time I wrote it was fast approaching but not yet upon us.

How’s it feeling so far? Much the same as last year, maybe a bit less manic now the festive period is over?

I wonder how many of you are thinking about making changes to your life, things you feel you “should” be doing differently. Whilst I’m sure most of these things are likely to be good for you, I would rather you thought about things that you need to do and that you want to do.

If you feel you need or want to do something, you’re far more likely to actually do it. Because it will be a desire coming from you, not from someone else. Generally “should” comes from those around us, telling us what we ought to be doing for the “right” life. But who knows us better than us?

There are some great books out there that can help shape our thinking, to raise our awareness on the things that we could do better for ourselves and those around us. These aren’t self-help books, but they are accessible psychology books. Daniel Kahneman’s “Thinking fast and slow”, Sunstein & Thaler’s “Nudge” and Margaret Heffernan’s “Willful Blindness” all help to gain a brilliant insight into where our thinking goes awry and we often just go for the easy option.

Therefore, as the year begins maybe it’s time to find another easy option. Or to starting thinking about the things we really want to do to feel alive. This to be honest could pretty much be anything, just do it because you want to. See how it feels to do it and if you want to stick at it. You may find it starts to feel great. If it doesn’t just stop and use your time to do something else more rewarding.

Bottom line you have to try it to decide if you like it, so invest some time in you and have a go.

Enjoy…

So, 2015 is coming to an end. Soon we’ll be hurtling into 2016, what will it bring for me? What will it bring for you?

Cliched as it might seem, this is a great time of year to stop and take stock. It’s a natural break point in our life cycles, a forced pause as businesses and life around us slows nearly to a stop. Will this be a time for festive joy for you? Or will it bring into sharp focus that everyone else seems to be having a much better time than you?

Whichever it is, or maybe a combination of both ends of the spectrum it won’t hurt to take some time to reflect on what’s been. Find yourself a quiet spot and just stop. Allow your mind to wander to all the things you can recall from this year. Does it strike you that most of your recollections seem negative or are they more positive. Do you get a pleasant feeling reminiscing on the year, or does it feel a difficult and challenging? I imagine for most of us there will be a balance of both. However, those of us that feel more content, I suspect there will be an overall feeling that the year felt good and positive overall.

Now time to look forward. What do you see? what do you feel? Is there that sense that you’re facing an ongoing struggle to survive? Or do you sense another year of doing what everyone else wants you to do? Maybe you’re just not sure, that’s the mid-ground. Things seem unlikely to be good or bad. Is there another way to feel though? Can you look forward and see that you can put things in place to make the most of the year ahead. Are there dreams and aspirations you can attain or work towards?

Try to take the time to figure out what it is you want from life. What about life now doesn’t feel quite as you’d like it. There is no reason why you can’t start to make changes towards a life that you really want. It’s amazing the difference even small apparently tiny changes can make. It’ll allow you to see and feel that you can do something different.

I want you to take time to invest in yourself. This time you’ve managed to find to have a quiet reflective moment can be replicated throughout the year. The great benefit of a period of therapy is that you get time dedicated to you. You carve out a specific time weekly to focus on you and your life. But of course whilst therapy is great, as you’ll have someone to work with and assist you in working through your stuff, you can do the same by yourself or with someone you trust.

The key is in making time for you. It’s too easy to get swept up into “just” doing one extra thing, or a favor for someone and your time for you is slowly eroded. In 2016, make time for you. Start to realise what it is you want from your life, then start to actually do some of the things you want to. Work on your “self-care”, this is my notion for the much needed time an attention we need to spend on ourselves. It’s not about being selfish and all that word’s negative connotations , it’s about treating yourself with the equal respect you treat others with. You are allowed to be equal first in your life.

I look forward to adding more of my musings throughout 2016 and hope that as I go you join me, and find a way to enhance the life you lead, to find contentment.

Have a great Festive period and very happy New Year.

What’s to come?

This is the first entry of “live” thought on my site. I want this page to be a reflection of my thoughts and ideas on all aspects of what it is to be human. In the main I intend to share with you things that I learn as I go along through life. As the title of this page hopefully suggests, the mind we have is a curious thing. Both to be understood and to use our own minds to understand as much as we can about all that is out there, and there’s a huge amount out there in the world and beyond.

I am personally fascinated with all things Human, from what we’re made of, how we operate individually and in groups. How we interact with our environment, both natural and man-made. There is such a wealth of information out there, I hope to bring some of it succinctly to those that wish to read this page. I will attempt to offer my ideas on how we could learn to live lives that are fuller and richer, and in line with my goals as a therapist to enable us all to feel we’re living our lives not just existing.

I will update this page as often as I feel there is something worth sharing, that might be daily or it could be monthly. As time goes on I’m sure I will alter the format, and if anyone does read what I have to say, I’m more than happy to hear suggestions on what I could do to make the page more readable and more enjoyable. Enjoyable is key, as who wants to read loads of dull stuff? What I want to provide is interesting info, that is fascinating, informative and maybe a bit challenging at times.

So, here we go, let’s see what comes up first and see where this takes me and my site.